The Contrarian Mindset: Overcoming the Fear of Not Being Good Enough.

This week, we’re taking on a fear that hides in plain sight—the fear of not being good enough.

In this episode, I share Gail’s story, a talented construction engineer working in a high-pressure, fast-paced industry. Despite a strong track record of success, Gail was driven by anxiety, relentless perfectionism, and constant self-doubt. One critical moment on a high-stakes project became a turning point—not just in her work, but in how she saw herself.

We explore how Gail shifted from chasing perfection to embracing progress, using tools from the Contrarian Playbook to build real confidence from the inside out.

Gail applied several contrarian strategies to reframe her thinking:

• Focus on progress, not perfection
• Challenge unrealistic standards
• Reframe how feedback is received and processed
• Document achievements to shift self-narratives
• Use mindfulness to manage stress and negative self-talk
• Broaden identity beyond professional success
• Adopt a growth mindset rooted in curiosity and development

Gail’s story is a reminder that you don’t need to be flawless to be worthy. It’s not about proving yourself—it’s about knowing your worth, even when the stakes are high.

Additional Resources:
Interested in building a contrarian mindset for resilience, fortitude, and psychological strength? Check out the other episodes in this series linked in the show notes, and subscribe to It’s an Inside Job for more insights on resilience, well-being, and personal growth.

Part 1 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and Growth

Part 2 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and Growth

Chapters

• 0:16 Introduction to the Podcast
• 1:42 Practical Tips for Everyday Challenges

Transcript

[0:00] Music.

[0:08] Well, welcome to It's an Inside Job Bite Size Fridays, your weekly dose of resilience,

[0:13] optimism, and well-being to get you ready for the weekend. Now, each week, I'll bring you insightful tips and uplifting stories to help you navigate life's challenges and embrace a more positive mindset. And so with that said, let's slip into the stream.

[0:27] Music.

[0:35] In our last series, we explored the 12 skills of the contrarian mindset. Skills that challenge conventional thinking and help us build true resilience. But resilience isn't just about what we cultivate. It's about what we confront. That's what this series is all about. Over the next 15 Bite Size Friday episodes, we'll take a hard look at the fears and unhelpful mindsets that hold us back. The ones we all face but rarely talk about. For example, the fear of failure, the fear of vulnerability, fear of change or uncertainty, the fear of conflict, the imposter syndrome, or the weight of perfectionism. These fears don't just slow us down, they quietly shape our decisions, limit our potential, and keep us stuck in patterns that no longer serve us. Most self-help advice teaches you how to work around these fears. This series challenges you to face them head on. Because if we want real growth, deep, lasting change, we can't afford to ignore what makes us uncomfortable. Contrarian thinking isn't about being difficult for the sake of it. It's about questioning default reactions, breaking free from limiting beliefs, and seeing challenges from an angle most people overlook. So let's cut through the noise, break the patterns, and reshape the way we think, one fear at a time.

[1:56] One unhelpful mindset at a time.

[1:58] Music.

[2:05] In this episode, we are going to tackle the unhelpful mindset of the fear of not being good enough. Kim Collins once was quoted as saying, strive for continuous improvement instead of perfection. Now, the contrarian mindset is this. It's about focusing on personal progress rather than perfection. It's about understanding that good enough is subjective. This week, I'll be sharing another client's story with you, but again, I've changed the name and the industry. So I'd like to introduce you to Gail. Now, she's a construction engineer working in a highly competitive and fast-paced urban development environment, and she was no stranger to success. She had proven track record of delivering complex projects on time and within budget. Despite these accomplishments, Gail was plagued by the overwhelming fear that she wasn't good enough.

[2:57] Now, this fear manifested in self-doubt, in anxiety, and a relentless drive for perfection that often left her feeling drained and inadequate. Now, there was one particular incident that brought this issue to the forefront. During a critical project review, Gail presented a new construction plan that had taken weeks to perfect. Although she received positive feedback from her colleagues, along with a few suggestions for improvement, well she fixated solely on the criticisms. To her well these suggestions were not constructive but evidence of her perceived inadequacy. This fear became more pronounced when she was tasked with leading an ambitious project involving complex engineering challenges. Despite her preparation and in-depth knowledge Gail constantly compared herself to her more experienced peers feeling that she was always a step behind. This led her to second-guess her decisions and undermine her own authority in front of her team.

[3:59] Her hesitation to assert her recommendations during a site meeting was a turning point. She developed a new structural design that had received positive preliminary reviews, yet doubt consumed her. Fearing that her design wouldn't meet the high standards set by her peers, well, she hesitated to implement it. This indecision not only delayed the project, but also eroded her confidence and the trust her team had in her leadership. And it was at this point that she had received feedback from her boss and that's when she came knocking on my door. And so what I'd like to do now is outline some of the contrarian strategies she implemented to shift from this unhelpful mindset to a much more powerful and confident boosting contrarian mindset. Focus on progress, not perfection. Gail's tendency to equate success with perfection was a significant barrier to her confidence. By shifting her focus to continuous improvement rather than flawless execution, while she began to appreciate the value of progress, this change helped her recognize that every step forward, no matter how small, was an achievement worth celebrating.

[5:13] Challenging Unrealistic Standards Gail's fear of not being good enough was largely driven by self-imposed, unrealistic standards. We worked to redefine what success meant to her, focusing on achievable personal benchmarks rather than comparing herself to industry giants. What this did was help her set more realistic expectations and reduce the pressure she felt to be perfect.

[5:39] Constructive Feedback Handling. She practiced processing feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than a critique of her value or her self-worth. Role-playing different feedback scenarios allowed her to approach critiques with a more objective mindset, helping her to see feedback as a tool for professional development rather than a personal attack. Documenting achievements. To combat her tendency to dwell on perceived failures, well, Gail began documenting her weekly achievements. Now, this practice shifted her focus from what she hadn't done perfectly to what she had accomplished. And it reinforced a positive narrative about her capabilities and progress. And remember, what we tell ourselves, what we think is what we feel. And that will trigger our behavior, whether we engage, or disengage.

[6:33] Mindful practices. Regular mindful exercises were incorporated into Gail's routine to help her manage stress and to combat negative self-talk, combat rumination. Now, these practices helped her maintain a clear perspective on her work and provided her with the tools to stay grounded during moments of self-doubt. Broadening professional identity. To reduce the pressure Gail felt at work, we explored activities outside of her professional life. Engaging in hobbies and interests unrelated to engineering, well, it gave Gail a sense of accomplishment and balance. This in turn, well, it helped her to alleviate the intense focus on her professional identity. Immersing ourselves on a walk, in a hobby, in a movie, in things that interest us, that light our passions can do a lot to minimize the focus on overthinking, negative thinking, and rumination.

[7:32] Adopting a growth mindset. Embracing a growth mindset, it was critical for Gail. It was crucial for her. She started viewing challenges as opportunities to enhance her skills and her knowledge and her experience, rather than just as a threat to her competence. You know, this shift, which was not easy, it took time, well, it transformed her approach to new projects from one of fear to one of curiosity and an eagerness to learn and to develop and to grow. Now, some of my final reflection on Gail. You know, her experience in the construction engineering field, it highlights a common yet a struggle many of us face as professionals. It's a fear of not being good enough. You know, her story, her experiences, it illustrates the immense pressure that comes with high stakes environments and the toll it can take on even the most competent and knowledgeable and experienced of us individuals. It's by implementing the strategies from the contrarian playbook that Gail was able to shift her mindset from one of self-doubt to one that embraced growth and progress. Gail learned to redefine success on her terms and valuing the continuous improvement over attainable perfection.

[8:54] This evolution, this transformation, it not only enhanced her professional performance, but it also brought a renewed sense of confidence and fulfillment. You know, Gail's developmental road here is a reminder that in high-pressure industries, it's not about being flawless. It's about recognizing and celebrating our growth and our achievements. Gail's story serves as an inspiration for any of us who might be feeling similarly inadequate.

[9:24] It offers us practical strategies for overcoming self-doubt and building a more resilient and confident mindset. You know, Gail's shift from striving for perfection to embracing progress, what this does is it exemplifies the strength that comes from personal development and self-acceptance. If I had to bring it down to its essence, in Gail's case, the contrarian mindset was about seeing her professional career as continuous improvement. It's about having realistic self-assessment. It's about having the vulnerability and the courage to move forward despite imperfections. Now, if you're curious about exploring any of these skills more in-depthly, I've dedicated an episode to each of these skills. And you will be able to find them in the Contrarian Mindset series, which I've launched from Fridays on Bite Size Fridays since January 2025.

[10:22] If you're curious to know how to build a contrarian mindset for greater resilience, fortitude, tenacity, psychological strength, and a sense of well-being, well, you'll find links to the other episodes in this series in the show notes. So make sure you hit that subscribe button. And I'll be back next week with my long-form conversational episodes on Monday and the latest Bitesides episode on Friday. And have yourself a relaxing and rejuvenating weekend.

[10:49] Music.